I recently experienced a friendship breakup. It wasn’t the first time, but it always hurts. You feel rejected, and you have to find a way to overcome it. This time, it was special because I think it was one-sided from the beginning, but I didn’t realize it. This situation pushed me to think about what friendship means to me.

Last Sunday, my pastor preached on the importance of investing in strategic relationships. And he began his sermon by talking about friendship. He defined friendship as a feeling of affection and mutual sympathy that commits one person to another. It must be intentional and requires commitment, loyalty and mutual liking.

So, before walking with someone, you people should agree and have some values clarifications conversation. This will help you to know what types of relationships it is: acquaintances, friendship, work colleagues, or situational relationships. Each type comes with different expectations, benefits, and challenges.

Friendship is like trust, it doesn’t happen overnight, you need and have to build it.  The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” Friendship is just like that. It happens over days and weeks and years of constantly investing in someone and making time for them. It’s a thousand little decisions to show up and be an extraordinary friend.

For me, a friend is someone who love you, protect you and won’t betray you. I’m that kind of friend and i also expect it . I attach great importance to people feelings especially if we are close. Not only that, but I think I am an always available friend. And sometimes it can be a bad thing. Some people will think that you are trying to force things, or that you are invasive. So I decided to not be so available, I learned my lessons this time (laughs)

At the end of the day, there’s no single template for friendship. You have to agree with someone before start calling each other friend. It’s better to ask someone if he, she or they want to be your friend or consider you as a friend? You will save time and energy.